By Kelsey Buckholtz
Director of Communication Strategy
Burnout Isn’t a Badge of Honor: Here’s What Helped Me Heal
May is Mental Health Awareness Month
May is Mental Health Awareness Month—a time to reduce stigma, spark conversations, and prioritize well-being. For me, it’s also a reminder of a deeply personal journey that changed how I live and work.
A few years ago, I was juggling a demanding career, trying to show up fully for my family, and saying yes to everything. From the outside, it looked like I had it all together. But on the inside, I was overwhelmed, exhausted, and burnt out.
One day I came home from work sobbing uncontrollably. I went straight to bed and refused to get up. I was finished. I couldn’t pretend anymore.
After that fateful day, I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and put on medication to help ease my symptoms so I could learn to cope.
Through therapy, reflection, and (eventually) healing, I learned three transformative lessons about mental health, boundaries, and reclaiming control over my life.
1. Most of the Pressure Was Coming from Me
During a therapy session, I found myself venting about rushing home to make dinner every night after work. My therapist paused and asked, “Did you ever ask your husband if that’s important to him?”
When I finally did, I was stunned. He didn’t expect it at all.
That conversation opened my eyes. I had internalized expectations that weren’t actually coming from others. My anxiety had been writing the rules. And the same was true at work. I was putting extra pressure on myself where it wasn’t needed.
Recognizing this helped me stop blaming others and start changing what I could control: my mindset and my boundaries.
2. Boundaries Teach People How to Treat Us
Boundaries aren’t about pushing people away. They are rules we set for ourselves to protect our energy and honor our values.
To support my mental health, I set three new boundaries:
- I stopped checking email after hours and physically separated work from home.
- I protected my lunch break so I could eat and take a mental health walk.
- At home, my husband and I started dividing and conquering dinner time.
But it’s not enough to set a boundary once—you have to consistently communicate it. When someone tries to book a meeting over my lunch, I respond with, “I try to protect my lunch hour. Can we find another time?” It’s a simple line, but it sets a clear tone. And it shows others it’s okay to do the same.
Every time your boundary is in question, you have a choice. It’s your responsibility to reinforce them—nobody else can do that for you. But with practice, it gets easier.
3. You Don’t Have to Burn Out to Be Successful
In 2020, I began writing Strong Calm Confident You, a book about my journey with anxiety and self-worth. To make space for it, I had to get serious about my boundaries. I worked more efficiently on things with the highest impact. I focused on what aligned with my values. I said “no” more often.
The result? In 2021, the same year I published my book, I earned my highest performance rating at work. And, I wasn’t burnt out. I was thriving.
Since then, even through big life and career transitions, I’ve held onto these principles and maintained a more balanced approach. I still get overwhelmed at times (I’m only human!), but now I have the tools to cope, and that’s the real win.
This Month, Take One Step
Mental Health Awareness Month isn’t just about awareness—it’s about action.
So I invite you to ask yourself:
What’s one boundary you can set that would impact your well-being?
It might be logging off in time for dinner, turning off notifications, or booking a real vacation. Whatever it is, let it be something that helps you feel more like you again.
Because thriving doesn’t mean doing more. It means doing what matters most.
